Assert Yourself by Being Straightforward

Posted: January 19, 2011 in Well-Being
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We all want to assert ourselves.  Whether it be in our jobs, in a relationship or any other situation that you feel you don’t have control over.  Try being straightforward with any of the situations in your life that call for it and see what the outcome will be.

The best way we can be straightforward is to make our statements clear and direct as possible.  Of course we don’t want to hurt the other people involved, but ultimately it is your life and you have to take control over it.

Make clear and direct statements by using “I” statements.

  • “I would like….”
  • “I believe that….”
  • “I want this to happen….”

*Do not allow someone else to make decisions for you.  Keep the focus on the issue you’re having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Express ownership of your thoughts and feelings.  It’s okay, by being more assertive (not aggressive) people will tend to listen and respect you more.

Don’t be aggressive.

  • Face the other person.
  • Don’t use dismissive or angry gestures.
  • Be sure you have a pleasant, but serious facial expression.
  • Keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive.
  • Try not to insert too many opinions or judgments.

Most of all make sure you are clear in your intentions with other people.  I think most people would thank you for your straightforwardness and appreciate that fact that you are being honest with them. Assertive people claim their own space, set their own boundaries to it, and are prepared to defend it – but they don’t seek to invade anybody else’s. They don’t try to control others, nor allow others to control them. They claim the right to express their opinions and ask for what they want, while being prepared to come to a reasonable compromise.



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